Note to Self: When in Doubt, Go WITHOUT...

Sooo I didn't exactly make it to an actual post this week either, BUT I do have something to share (at least you know I thought about you this week, right? ;o) School hit the ground running full tilt this year; we're all still trying to catch our breath. Okay, maybe it's more like we're hyperventilating... I got the brilliant (?) idea to share the rest of my zoo trip photos via slideshow. Ha. Why does this stuff always turn into a federal production? I've used up all my freebies through Cincopa, and now I find that Google has killed off the best feature of Picasa: The embeddable slideshow. So if, bright and early this morning, you happened to hear someone bellowing ugly sentiments at their computer in the distance... well... it was probably me. Sometimes I really hate technology. *sigh* So, we learned (I hope, I hope!) how to use the slideshow feature in Photoshop Elements. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully. Here goes nothing:

Aaaand nothing was what we got. So, we tried again:

Nope, didn't quite make it that time either. Okay, let's try this:

Clearly the third time was NOT the charm. What about this:

That would be a NO. Four? Anybody? Anybody at all. Do I hear four?

After several hours of unbelievable aggravation, the ditching Photoshop altogether (I couldn't get the file size low enough to appease Blogger), saying 3,482 bad words, wasting an additional 45 minutes on Smilebox only to throw my arms up in disgust, this is what I came up with:

Click here to view the Album on Google

*snarl*

Signed,

MUD

Again-Again? Really, Jen?

...saying anything that might could would morph into a massive unloading [read: demented rant] from which your fingers may never recover. Not to mention the things you would just have to turn around and repent anyway. Right Jennifer? You betcha. So. In lieu of posting a twenty page diatribe explaining the circumstances I alluded to in my last post (found here, for those of you looking sideways at the screen and scratching your head in confusion) I'm going for the "less is more" version. I will, however, offer you a bulleted summary to accompany the picture to the left. Said picture being worth FAR more than a measly 1,000 words because it is an incredibly accurate depiction of my mental state during the time in question (albeit a disturbing one). Well, maybe not the male gender/mustache part. And yes, I entertained myself with the bullets in my little summary (what did you expect? ;o)

To quote Sergeant Friday (on a Friday no less), "Just the facts, Ma'am."

☁ My father got sick, then became ill (as in tempered). Then he got really ill (as in go to the hospital). What started as a plain old "vomit virus", turned into something far more serious over the course of a couple weeks.

☂ Ultimately, Dad required the better part of a week in the hospital which, in turn, required me to spend the better part of the week sleeping at my parent's house with Mom (Alzheimer's patients do not do well with any change in environment). This was, of course, in addition to working full time, caring for the horses, and spending time at the hospital. 

☔ Turned out my Dad had a pinched intestine (and did we even know that was a thing? Nope), which was ultimately - and thankfully - resolved without surgery.

It probably goes without saying that I ran around like a crazy woman throughout all of this at warp speed from home to work to hospital to home to Mom's and then back home again in the wee hours the next day.

UGH.

I also learned quite a bit about myself and (hopefully), I stretched and grew a little more spiritually and grace-fully. Ummm...How about this: I definitely grew, but it wasn't very pretty. Here's the rest (as politely as I'm able to phrase it):

☹ I love my parents. I really do, but they are not always easy (or pleasant) to be around. My dad, who is never sick, has to be the worst patient I think I have ever encountered (I'll take sick whiny kids any day). 

♰ It is a darn good thing that God's grace is sufficient, because I had nowhere NEAR enough of it for either one of my parents: both of whom managed to surprise (shock?) me with some truly obnoxious and downright hateful behavior.

⛅ Silver Lining? (sort of): It is absolutely possible, when you toss in enough stress-filled frantic, to drop five pounds in a single week without even trying (yes, I really did).

💡 I did a tremendous amount of introspection in the weeks that followed, and ultimately realized that I had a veritable boatload of unresolved emotions and resentments when it came to my parents that stemmed from years of internalizing. A BIG boat. Okay, maybe more like an armada. Since it is not my intention to engage in a round of "bash the parents" (a.k.a. the temptation from which I was - barely - delivered), I'll just say that there are people on this earth who can - and do - take condescension, [what I call] "destructive" criticism and personal dissatisfaction to a whole new level. I suppose one could also say that teenagers are not the only ones with the mindset that precious little outside of their own wants and needs should be considered. Yep, one could say that all right... *Ahem*. 
'Nuff said.

✋ I learned that setting healthy boundaries can be a wonderful and truly amazing thing. Just be sure to seek counseling from a trusted source first, and be as kind as as you can (in my case it was our pastor and a very close friend). I also had to give myself a couple added weeks of "calm down" time before drawing that line in the sand to keep things from turning ugly on my part. (I never said I was perfect ;o)
The end result?
I guess some people are just going to be the toast crumbs in your butter no matter what you do. Sort of a weird analogy, I guess, (but I'm hungry ;o)

So there you have it: my little tale of whoa (was me). As to the past couple of weeks? Busy, busy, busy. My bender is back; in spades! Hopefully, I'll have some pictures for you next time to show you what I've been up to. All I can say is Pinterest is a double-edged sword (handy, but dangerous). Have a blessed week, and stay sane. At least try. *laugh*

IDGIs and Issues

Clearly, my plans are nothing if not flawed (to the nth degree, I might add ;oP My grand (-ish?) plans for the first one or two or three November and/or December posts didn't quite go as I imagined them. Actually, as you probably noticed, they didn't go anywhere at all (outside of my own head, that is). *Insert self-deprecating eyeroll here* Mmmmph. Profound apologies; though I'll hereby solemnly promise not to promise that it won't ever happen again ('cause it probably will). Ha.

In any event, I will - I hope I hope - pick up where I left off in my posting next week. In the meantime, this video clip sums my current reality up quite well (not to mention in a far more adorable manner than I could pull off on my own ;o)



Yep, that about sums it up all right. Email friends can click here to watch.

Hugs to all, and to all a good night!

How Come I Do Me Like I Do-Do-Do?

Sometimes I have thoughts; lots and lots of thoughts. I have been told (are you listening Karen? ;o) that I have far too many of them for one person. Most of the time they are bouncing around my brain in a jumbled mess, though I have been known to form a coherent one periodically. I can't help but laugh when I see all of those "Ideas for Blog Posts" pins on Pinterest. I have enough post ideas running around in my head for 47 different people. What I DON'T have, is the time to sit down and bang them all out. Rampant running ideas aside, many other thoughts are questions. Lots and lots of questions. Some days (like today) I wonder if other people wonder the same things I do; particularly those niggling little things that you never can quite puzzle out. Since I am a total acronym junkie (which is often a self-entertaining pastime), it seemed only fair that I should come up with a suitable acronym in order to share them with you. IDGI = "I Don't Get It". Maybe I'm not alone in some of the things I just don't understand. Then again, it could be just me...
Photo Inset: One of the Mums I planted in the whiskey barrel planter in the visitor area (I was experimenting with erasing backgrounds and in a hurry to finish this post. I freely admit it has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the subject in this paragraph, and I almost don't care (provided I don't think about it too hard, that is ;o)

A few of my IDGIs (not too many - I don't want to scare you ;o)

- Why is it socially acceptable for a 30-something (adult?!?) to wear their Batman jammies to the grocery store?*

- Why do we need attorneys to slap legalese all over everything? My personal favorite is, "Void where prohibited." Translation: It's no good where it's not allowed. Wow. Really?

- How do people on food stamps get to buy steak and lobster at the grocery store? I have a full-time job, and (with rare celebrational exception) I don't get to eat that stuff.

- Why do manufacturers put sweepstakes and/or prize labels on their packaging that say things like, "No purchase necessary, details inside"? Now I'm not the brightest bulb on the porch, but I'm pretty darn sure somebody's gonna make me buy it if I rip it open to check out those details.

- If I am inconsistent all the time, am I not therefore by definition consistent?

- How can it still be Black Friday now that it starts on Thursdays?

AND - as long as we're on the seasonal subject - when did Christmas start arriving before Halloween?

* Upon further consideration: Why does a 30-something guy even own a pair of Batman pajamas?

Do you have things like that running through your head? Or are you slowly backing away from your screen and reaching for a phone because you think I need professional help? (I probably do ;o)

Welllll... it looks like we can chalk another one up in the "What in the world were you thinking Jennifer?" column: otherwise entitled, "Self-Inflicted Stupidity in Spades" (which, as an acronym could be construed as "Si-Si's" - yes-yes's in Spanish - and accurately represents the sum total of an ongoing personal predicament). Okay, that was entirely too much digression [even for me]. Nice rabbit hole there, Jen. *UGH* I managed (yet again) to bite off WAY more than I could possibly chew. Do you do that? I do. On a regular idiot-friendly basis, I might add. I have a really, really rough time with the "N" word. As in NO. I have, quite literally, sat in meetings and bit my lip hard enough to hurt to keep myself from volunteering for something when I knew good and well it would be far too much and I'd wind up completely overwhelmed and stressed out. Unfortunately, an "Oh, I can do that" frequently pops out in spite of my best efforts to hold it in. Why? Not a clue. Boneheaded? Maybe. Glutton for punishment? Definitely. Most of the time, though, it happens simply because I want to help. The fact that I know that you can't possibly help everyone all of the time does not seem to stop me from trying. Sometimes, however, it's just a big fat brain blip (you know, the kind that comes with the triple threat of repercussions: STRESS, MORE STRESS and TOTAL MELTDOWN). A few weeks ago, my art teacher asked me if I wanted to go in with her on a booth for the local Art/Craft Show the following weekend. Obviously, I was in idiot mode at the time, because I responded with an enthusiastic "Oh, I'd love to!". Two days later, I found myself lamenting this decision, but was still delusional enough to think I could pull it off without too much trouble. Well ha. Ha, HA, HA. Delusional indeed.

By the following week, I was ready to pull my hair out (and I might have, too, except that it is finally starting to thicken again - plus, once the hair has left my head it kinda freaks me out to clean it up, because Ick.) "Why? Why do you DO this to yourself?!?" was my perpetual mantra. What is WRONG with you? Are you mental? Clearly, the answer was [is] a resounding Yes. I did indeed make it to the art show (in frazzled stressed-out-mess mode, but I got there!) and I have to say that it was SO not worth it. *rolling eyes* We're talking total bust. I have no idea where they advertised, but it was like a ghost town; the only thing missing were the tumbleweeds (not to worry though, I found one just for you). I can't even say I enjoyed myself, since I spent the better part of a day sitting there thinking of all the things I could have gotten done had I just stayed HOME. The only positive thing I can think to say is that I did sell two candles to my art teacher (she said they were Christmas presents for a couple of someones) so at least my portion of the booth rental was covered. I'm good with that, I guess. I mean it'd be even worse had I wound up paying to get so completely stressed-out, right? My art teacher did make me promise that I would slap her [really hard] should she ever ask me to do such a thing again in the future  (so maybe it wasn't just me then, eh? ;o)

On the upside, my friend Lori has gallantly volunteered to run interference for me in the future as my official Nay-Sayer. (I am to direct any and all requests for my assistance through her). Why, you might ask? Because I completely blew my shining moment, that's why. After a lengthy discussion (otherwise entitled, "See Jen Vent") with Lori and another friend Cathy after church - both of whom agreed that I had a big problem telling people "No" - they gave me a marvelously encouraging pep talk and pointed out that I was already overloaded by default (true). Then they had me practice saying, "I'm sorry, but I just can't." I don't know why it's such an issue for me, but it's HUGE. The biggest thing that bothers me about it? I wind up saying "No" to the people I don't want to say no to (like friends and family), or I miss my weekly blog post because I've already said yes ten too many times. So why on earth do I keep doing it? I sure wish I knew, because I absolutely infuriate myself sometimes. ARRGH! The topic turned to other things and it was quite awhile later that Lori said, "Oh, I meant to ask you; do you think you could fix a meal for the W--- family next week?" Taking a deep breath and thinking about the coming week's chaotic schedule, I closed my eyes and said.... "When?" Of course both of them yelled "NO! NO! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY NO!!" at me simultaneously. Apparently that was a test, which I failed. Dismally. *facepalm*
What's the definition of insanity again? Oh yes: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Oh dear.

And... for those of you who like doodle and draw, I started a [sketchbook] joy journal the other week. Faith based, and full of whatever it is that I feel like adding to it. Initially I just wanted to practice lettering, largely because it's an übercool skill to have. I figured I may as well find a fun way to do it, hence the journal. Since it's now October and we're all "in the pink" (so to speak), I thought I'd share this page with you. It's not finished - obviously - nor is it a masterpiece, but the journal has been kind of a (hit and miss) therapeutic thing for me in the evenings.
I sure do enjoy doing it ;o)
[Pitiful photo, compliments of the crummy camera on my cell phone. Meh. :oP

Speaking of artistic endeavors, somebody special (actually two somebodies, since the taller one included a note ;o) sent me a happy-happy-happy moment. Isn't it awesome? Look:

Soooo putting them BOTH in my joy box. Thanks so much for reading this far, and have a blessed week!