Well It Started with Sarabear,

BoyOhBoyOhBoy (and NOT in a good way, 'neither)
Head's up: **Coffee and a doughnut post**

While we were still sniffling over Sarabear's departure, DD said she wanted to spend a couple of nights at D's house. This was a friend of hers from [her] church, but someone I had not yet met (bear in mind that she was 22 years old and out of college, so I didn't exactly grill her over it). If nothing else, it seemed a nice distraction for her from the Sarabear blues we all had. After the first few days, however, DD stopped texting which made me a little nervous - we talk all the time throughout the day - but I figured she just got busy and I opted to give her some space. After more than a week passed without a word I was getting scared, and by the end of almost three weeks with no response at all to my [increasingly frantic] texts, I was rapidly becoming a basket case. Kicking myself for not finding out specifically where she went - but who predicts this kind of thing with a good kid? - I nearly wore out my knees in prayer and finally managed to come up with a message that I was pretty sure would get her attention and generate a rapid response:

Come home RIGHT NOW or I will cut off your phone.

Well, DD came home that same evening and looked at me as if I were a half a bubble off when I asked her WHAT was going on and where on earth she had been. She rolled her eyes, sighed in exasperation and said, "Remember Mom? I've moved out." Shaking my head, I blinked several times and stuck a finger to my ear and wiggled it around. Maybe she wasn't the only one with the hearing loss. Maybe I'd just lost mine. Huh? Wait. What?? Rewind please - and stay calm Jennifer - you can handle this. Actually, I don't believe I can. Nope, not at all. My right eye started to twitch.
"DO WHAT?!?" I roared. Calm? Calm? Kiss my big toe, I'll show you calm (but it is NOT gonna to be today).

Now I don't know about you, but my rendition of "moving out" had a completely different sequence to it. I remember distinctly that the announcing came BEFORE the leaving. Did yours go in that order too or am I nuts? I believe there was a distinct difference in the overall definition as well. Moving entailed the acquisition of many boxes followed closely by the packing and hauling off of large quantities of stuff within said boxes, leaving Mom lots of room to hide er, I mean store her surplus of craft items. DD's room was just as it had been the month before; crammed slam full of her things. I explained all of this to her quite thoroughly and even pointed out that Mr. Webster and I both viewed her actions in the same light:

²runaway

adjective —used to describe a person who has left home without permission
I scratched my head as she continued to exhort her emancipation via adulthood. Although I did not (and still don't) feel that she was ready for the world, she was adamant about being on her own.  My pleas for her to wait until she had saved some money and I could help her become better equipped for the big, bad world fell on deaf ears (both literally AND figuratively). What was I gonna do? Pray, obviously and turn her over to the Lord; that was all I could do. I'll admit to the sudden overwhelming urge to ground her until she was 50, but I was pretty sure that wasn't gonna fly...
Not long after her sudden decision to move the first time, we learned that she was suffering from severe depression (which probably played a pivotal role in her overly impulsive decision-making tendencies). It has been a long, hard year for all of us with a second disappearance, multiple unknown addresses, and several other prayerful and scary times.  Although DD has moved several times, she has finally landed in a safe place where she can get her feet under her (I hope) and thankfully, I know exactly where she is (renting a room from a close friend of mine). 

DD has now improved to the degree that she was finally able to stop taking all those frightening meds for depression (which were making her suicidal and disturbingly vacuous). Honestly, they seemed to hinder more than help her progress. Scary stuff. She has been discharged from counseling, and she now comes home for regular visits. Thank You, Lord! WOO! :o)  In the midst of it all, DD was combing rescue shelters daily in search of a canine companion. Although she has always wanted a Rottweiler, God had a better plan. Doesn't He always? Funny how that works. DD was hoping like crazy that she would find a Rottie in need of rescue and I was hoping like crazy she wouldn't. I prayed instead that God would find a way to make it work for her and He did. Now don't get me wrong, I wanted DD to have a dog, it's just that a Rottie is a LOT of dog and [consequently] a large financial responsibility and her meager income just wasn't up for it. She was SO obsessed, that at one point she was even talking to a breeder in Tampa. He had a lovely selection of registered championship Rottweilers: DD could have her pick of the litter for the bargain price of $3,000. Oh, and we'd have to go 400 miles to pick it up, too (do you need to guess who she asked for that particular favor?). Have you lost your tiny mind O child of mine? *faceplam* Must. Pray. Harder.

Well, it seemed that one of her former roommates (one of many that mom was rather leery of) could no longer keep her little dog and had decided to turn it over to a kill shelter. Yikes. Diamond was a cute 10 month old Chihuahua/Terrier mix who had the misfortune to belong to a [very irresponsible] girl - disguised as a grownup. Said girl is now, of course, a former friend of DD's (huh, Mom was right after all - well wonders never cease). It happened that this same little dog had been very dear to DD while she was living there; she talked about her furry friend Diamond constantly and had even sent me several pictures of her. The two of them seemed to have a relationship built on mutual adoration and Cassandra missed Diamond terribly when she moved. Anyhoo, it was DD to the rescue and apparently just in time as her owner had basically stopped feeding her (poor little thing was alarmingly thin). Seems the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree either because when DD took her new best friend to the vet to have her checked out, given shots, wormed, given a flea treatment and spayed - NONE of which had been taken care of by her previous owner - the following conversation took place:
Vet: Well she looks fine - just needs fattening up, but I'm afraid I can't do much for her right now.
DD: Why? What's wrong?
Vet: Nothing's wrong, I just can't spay her until after she has her puppies.
DD: PUPPIES????????????

I wasn't with her, but I did get a frantic S.O.S. text message about 10 seconds after their conversation ended. Seems we didn't credit her previous owner with enough stupidity; a puppy having puppies. *sigh*  We hoped and prayed for a healthy but tiny litter - just one or two, please? Well, Diamond gave birth to six absolutely adorable (and thankfully healthy) puppies. Oh my. It was a wonderful blessing for DD to watch their births - she kept me posted throughout with excited texts and photos. So, DD still comes to visit us but now it's with a tail-wagging entourage. I've been playing puppy grandma and helping out as much as I am able to with their care until she can find them all homes. We've found homes for two so far; four left. DD is - and we are - doing much better and though my knees do seem to be developing callouses I'm still praying away for God to keep her safe. Aren't they just adorable?

Thank you for reading my rambles, and have a blessed week everyone!

Nevermind Waldo:

and went downhill from there...
As most of you figured out, the correct answer from last week's post was *V8 Whap* J. All of the Above - and golly what a non-shock, right? With me being me and all. Ha. I guess I'll begin at the beginning and bring you up to speed a little at a time over the next several posts. 
Some of you may remember that Miss Sarabear was diagnosed with heaves (COPD) a few years ago (here, here, here and here). Although we did everything we could to make her comfortable, it was pretty much a train wreck from the get go between the dry, dusty drought conditions and a sudden seemingly endless barrage of neighbors burning fires; all of which drifted straight through the pasture (where else?) In any case, these things combined to make poor Sara's life here a misery. Since the biggest help for a horse with heaves is to get them out of a dusty barn (which we don't have) on to a 24/7 turnout schedule (which we already had), we were not starting from a good place. The treatment options available to us were no longer helping, and we found ourselves standing at an unhappy crossroads...

Sometimes it just comes down to the tough choices; the kind you hope you never have to make. Sarabear's health had deteriorated to the point where she was really starting to suffer, and we had exhausted all of our options. After prayerful consideration we made the difficult decision to donate her to Auburn University (which has an awesome equine veterinary program). As much as I would have loved to be able to send her up there for treatment, financially it just wasn't an option for us (treatment costs can run up into the thousands). We had 8 other horses to consider, not to mention my own medical misadventures and we just couldn't take on a [potentially huge] financial burden for a giant question mark.  I knew Auburn had much more advanced options available there than we did here, and they would either be able to help ease her symptoms which would in turn alleviate her suffering (heaves is incurable) or put her down humanely and maybe be able to discover something that would help someone else's horse in the future. So, with lots of prayer and heavy hearts we bid a tearful farewell to our Sarabear in early spring of last year. I miss you very much sweet pea...

- Stay tuned for the letter B -

Since I hate to sign off on such a sad note, won't you please visit Sara's lens on Squidoo to read the silly story about her arrival? Hopefully, you'll find your smile while you're there (Disclaimer: this is a multitasking moment for me, since I'm supposed to be promoting Epic Farms's lenses - yet one more thing that has fallen by the wayside *sigh*). 

I hope you will enjoy: 

"The Sarabear Chronicles"

Have a blessed week everyone. Horsey hugs!!

 

An E-Maregency Post

Where in the world has Jen been???

OH you just don't know how much I've missed you guys... I'm so happy to finally blog again! *SQUEEEE* [ahem] Sorry. Okay, so this was actually supposed to be a back to school post last August, but I've obviously had to rethink that now that school is almost over (can you say WOOSH with whiplash?!? *facepalm*). In honor of final exams, I've decided to offer a multiple choice quiz to see if you can guess what caused such a lengthy disappearance. I should tell you that my dear friends Lori and Sandy have both stopped just short (and not by much, either ;o) of reading me the riot act for being gone from the blogosphere for so doggone long. Clancy even sent me a message via Facebook to make sure I was still in one piece. Aren't friendships just the most marvelous blessing?

Speaking of extended absences, I am posting this under the assumption (a dangerous word) that A. There is someone actually here to read it (crickets people, I am pretty sure I hear boatloads of crickets); B. You still remember me (I'm sorry, Jen who??); and C. You can manage to read what I've written through the extensive amount of cobwebs (webs, get it? Har ;o) that have collected on this blog over the past umpteen months. *wince*

Ready?

Okay, so what on earth have I been DOING all this time anyway?

Well, I was...

A) bidding a sad farewell to our Sarabear, who had to leave us.

B) learning to let go and let God (with a dash of hysteria) when our daughter suddenly "declared" her independence by leaving home unexpectedly.

C)  trying to help my dad with my mom who was diagnosed with Dementia, and spend more time with both of them.

D) recovering from the shock of learning I was gluten intolerant and attempting to find my way around the massive GF learning curve.

E) getting diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, then Osteopenia.

F) going totally off the dietary deep end: Me go Paleo. UG.

G) completely reconfiguring (then re-reconfiguring) my daily routine in an absolutely unsuccessful attempt to make it all work and still be able to write my posts.

H) learning how to use essential oils and natural ingredients to make my own deodorant, lotion, shampoo, hair color and horse stuff.

I) discovering that dirt was really good for you, so I started eating it.

J) All of the above.

Of course for those of you who know me, this is pretty much a no-brainer. I even gave you a tiny hint via initial (and now that I've said all that, I'm thinking any random stranger stopping by should know what the answer is as well, right? ;o)

I am sorry for being gone for so long without a word; I meant to add a short "I'll be back" post at some point, but I never did get to it. I'm going to try to get back into visiting everyone's blogs and posting here more regularly over the summer, although I may find myself cutting back once school starts in the fall. Pretty sure a huge chunk of this summer will be dedicated to updating a ton of web stuff and finally getting my house in order, which is a total disaster area. Yeesh, WHATTA MESS! Methinks I might just need to redecorate this blog while I'm at it, too. *laugh*

Happy-Happy-Happy hugs!

Methinks Somebunny Needs a Nap

Hay eddybuddy - member us? (I'm Taya, the purdy one onna left, and the grumpee one onna right is Lady). Mom sed that she wuz goin in Sane with Crazy Busy (I don't know who her friend Crazy is, but I think Sane is a store or somethin') an that she wood bee back soon. Maybe if me an' Lady does a good job wif our post she will bring us back a treat. Yum! U no what else? Mom forgot to 'splain about the spill check thing again so we still dont no what that is yet. Sillee mom, rite?

Mom did asked us to remind u guys about the Goodsearch and Goodshop place coz of doe nations an also too tell u that she is workin' hard on the Etsy shop an' that she only has a little bit of stuffs in their so far, but u should visit it 'cause she uses the monee to feed us. I know its green an stuff, but I don't think monee tastes very good. Maybe its like a veggable or somethin'.

She also sed that if u are shoppin' for presents and stuffs ('specially for furballs) pleas visit her friends at EFA on Etsy. They makes lotsa awesome stuffs for the good causes. Mom sed we are her favrit cause, but I think she did not finish her sentence since she didnt tell me cause why. My birfday is in March an I will be 7 yearz old so if you wanna buy me a present you can (I likes apples). I gots 'cited about the EFA 'cause I thought that EFA meaned Eat-Five-Apples, and I LOVES apples almost as much as watermellins :o) But Mom sed nope, it means Etsy-for-Animals and they gives monee to lotsa differnt chair-tees all the time. I guess thats prolly 'portant, but I'd rather havva apple.
I gotta go, 'cause Mom is callin us for breakstast, an' I'm hungry. Lady sed she's still not speakin' atall cause she's still mad about her pitcher makin' her look all ginormous big. Mom called her a Chunky Monkey, but I think Lady is a big fat partee pooper, but Mom sed thats knot nice so I was just a little bit sorry. Have a sooper day eddybuddy!

The Three R's: 'Real' Reality Rant

Soooo, how's it going? Good week? Yes? No? Jury still out on that one? How about the whacked out weather - fun for you? Obviously, I'm punchy; been that way all week (no idea why, really, but it happens). On Monday and Tuesday the temps were right at 80 are-you-kidding-me degrees (actually passed a woman in a strapless top on my way into Winn Dixie, which is just so wrong for January). The horses are shedding and the plants are completely confused. Of course that was before Wednesday's storms blew in a cold front and at the moment, it's 33 out. I think over the weekend it's supposed to be in the upper 20's. Hey I know! We can all get really sick; won't that be fun? Meh.

Between the weirdly warm weather and people burning almost constantly in the area (five out of seven days last week) I'm scared to go outside in the morning to check on Sara, but she's hanging in there. A happy thanks to Lori at Skoog Farm Journal for sponsoring my V-8 moment by mentioning beet pulp, which I had completely forgotten about (having initially gone a different direction for weight gain). I'm delighted to report that Sara loves it, although she will not eat it if I mix it in with her feed (so now we have a pan of beet pulp and a pan of feed three times a day). Whatever works, right? As happy as it makes me to see her chowing down, however, I have to tell you that stuff is superduper stinky (as in P.U. EWWW). My nose is hypersensitive, so I am not a fan of any kind of strong odor at all. Stuff's worse than sauerkraut. Blech.
Speaking of beet pulp, the kids are working on various types of poetry in Reading class right now. While composing poems isn't overly interesting to a deaf student (for obvious reasons) I'm having a lark:
Inky, stinky beet pulp.
  I fix you and I scowl,
  you are so very foul.
  You make me wanna barf,
  yet Sarabear will scarf.
Inky, stinky beet pulp.
Ha. See? Told you I was punchy. All seriousness aside, that stuff really does smell "offal". OH, GEEZ THAT WAS BAD! Bwahahahaha :o) *cough* Sorry.

Let's move on, shall we? One of the things I decided to splurge on with my Christmas money was the latest version of PrintShop. Trying to stay on that cutting edge can really get expensive, so I don't update stuff very often. Do you keep up with upgrades? I've been using PrintShop since the dot matrix days (around 1991), and have absolutely positively loved it. Since I use it all the time to edit photos and do lots of Epic Farms stuff, I thought it might be a good idea to upgrade to 3.0 since it's been several years. My biggest interest in the upgrade was the ability to edit vector images, use overlays, and make my own nifty watermark for photographs. Armed with a GoodShop coupon, I bought 3.0 Professional. I was SO excited to get that package; I could hardly wait to get it installed and start playing around. And har-dee-har-har was that joke ever on me. Imagine my surprise to find that my forever favorite user friendly program had bypassed unfriendly and gone straight to downright hostile. For reasons that completely escape me, Broderbund did away with many of the best features of PrintShop and somehow managed to turn it into one of the most user UNfriendly programs ever created. I mean, I totally hated it. Guess I should have read the reviews first, as they were terrible, but I never even gave it a thought until after I bought it.

Happily, Broderbund offered a 30 day money back guarantee (see Jen get RMA and make beeline to post office). As an aside, if you ever have to return something like software be sure to ask for a delivery confirmation. It costs a little bit more, but gives you proof your package arrived so you don't wind up in the "We didn't get it so sorry, too bad no refund for you." category. In chatting with my brother one afternoon, he mentioned using Photoshop which I had not thought about in a very long time. Once upon a time, I had Photoshop Elements 2.0, (which should tell you how long ago it was: think dial up). I bought it planning to restore some old family photographs, but it was SO ridiculously complicated that you just about had to take a college course to learn how to use it (although it did come with a handydandy clear-as-mud manual). Anyway, I'd avoided it like the plague ever since. What can I say? It scared me ;o) I started wondering what kind of changes - if any - might have come about since then. This is Cupcake, by the way. My friend Sandy's little Lionhead bunny; isn't she adorable?
I decided to investigate, and discovered that Adobe offers the full-blown version in a 30 day try-before-you-buy download (it's here if you're interested). A free full featured test drive? Really? Woo! I'm so there. I downloaded Photoshop Elements 11, and I have seen the light [insert choral "Ahhhh" here]. BOY have they changed that software; totally user/idiot friendly. Definitely my kind of program. Throw in a little AdobeTV with a boatload of step by step tutorials, and it is completely learnable (even for me). My old 2.0 was still good for the upgrade price, but I actually found it cheaper on Amazon (yay) so I'll be ordering it as soon as I get my Broderbund refund. *Bounce*Bounce*Bounce* :-D As you can see, I've already figured out the watermark thing. Guess that's all for now; next week we'll talk about how to make yourself feel seriously stupid in one simple step: it's SO me ;o)
Have a blessed weekend and week everyone!

Epic Fail-yers (coffee and a donut post)

Do YOU know...  
How unbelievably and obnoxiously annoying you are? Is it just me or do you get fed up with the deluge of automated emails vomited out en masse to in-boxes everywhere by the social media giants? Do you know this person? How about this one? Wait! Here are 27 more people, just in case. I would say I appreciate the thought (self-serving though it may be), but I'd be telling a whopper for sure because I DON'T. I have to admit that whoever coined the term "the web" really knew what they were doing. As much as I appreciate and even [almost] enjoy technology, (when I'm not yelling at my screen, that is ;o) sometimes I think social media's sole purpose is to lure you in until you become hopelessly entangled in the virtual reality black hole. *Bangs head on desk.*

Case in point: I got on Pinterest over the holidays looking for some easy recipes, and got sidetracked by a cute crochet pattern pinned by a friend. Two hours and 2,000 Oh, look how cute!'s later, however, I was furious with myself for wasting so much time basically doing nothing (particularly since I had completely forgotten my original purpose). Recipes, ohhh yeah. *Facepalm* Yikes. It's a supernova turned black hole into which large quantities of time are sucked daily, I'm telling ya. Then there's the inevitability of the interface update; about the time I think I have a handle on a site, sweeping changes are announced and nothing looks like it did. Like the all new Facebook Timeline. Wait... What? Hold on, where the heck did everything go? Why are you tracking me on a big scary map? Cut it out, it's creepy. Hello?!? That's not even ME people; it's someone else with the same name and a smarter phone that lives in the next town. Oh, hey I got it: subterfuge. Okay that one could be good. I'm getting more like the horses every day; gimme a nice predictable rut. It may be boring, but at least I know what the heck's going on. *grin*

Now I'll confess to laughing hysterically at the Toyota commercial featuring the girl in her room mocking her "lame" parents for only having 17 sorry friends on Facebook compared to her own 600+ virtually vivacious pals. Of course her parents were out having fun with their real friends, while she sat home alone all night staring at a screen. I suppose it could be argued that technologically speaking she was with her friends (but that perspective just creeps me out completely, and move over Max Headroom). In honesty, the only reason I even joined Facebook in the first place was to create a Fan Page for Epic Farms (one of those things that seemed like a good idea at the time). It was almost fun for about 20 minutes, too, but I think it was the never-ending barrage of Little Green Patches and Farmville requests that totally killed it for me. Let's not forget the added drama that spills over into the school day from Facebook; superfun, that. Never mind the fact that you're supposed to be 18 either; nobody cares, believe me. I will say that DD was 20 or 21 before she signed up for Facebook, (and I dimly recall asking her what that giant whooshing noise was; it was the sound of her getting sucked into the virtual void *sigh*).

Do I appreciate the convenience? Sure I do. It's nice to be able to catch up with things at 4a.m., which is generally the only time I have a few extra minutes to spare. It's handy too, when something major (like a surgery) is going on - it's a great way to let everyone know an update all at once. But where's the line? Do I need to know that 12 people I do not know 'liked' what someone else posted that I didn't read? Nope, and I pretty much don't care either (sorry). I signed up with Twitter to promote my Etsy shops (you know, the ones that were stuck in vacation mode for the past year) and announce new blog posts but I rarely remember to tweet either one. I totally forgot to announce the Epic Farms Etsy shop was open again too - my bad. For some reason, Twitter grates on my nerves too. I'm mostly sure I don't need to know what you're doing every minute of every day. Saw a tweet one time that someone had just finished scrubbing the toilet, and was getting ready to jump in the shower; talk about TMI. Who on earth get's that bored? Oy. For a little while, I was interjecting one-liners just to break the monotony of all those self-serving monologuistic tweets. 

Then I joined BlogFrog and four or five other promote-your-blog-here sites (that I don't even remember). All that did for me was generate still more friend requests/followers from people in places I've never even heard of and whose profiles basically scare me. I couldn't even tell you why I joined LinkedIn (although I'm fairly certain I had a reason at the time). Truth be told, that was the catalyst that led to today's posterior-exposing post (SO not explaining that one if you missed it ;o) A whatEVER request (friend? circle? group? clique? groupie? network? follower? stalker?) from some random real estate person that I've never heard of who works halfway across the country in some state I've never seen. Hitting the online white pages for the entire US of online A these days are we? There just seems to come a time when the harassing and haranguing overrides said convenience and becomes one more set of overwhelming obligations on that never ending gotta get "tuit" list. I'm going back to my virtual beginnings and see how many of these online onuses I can start ditching to cut down on my bit... Er, as much as I enjoy the occasional rhyming game, perhaps we'd just better not go there (we are rated G don'tcha know ;o)
Wow. That was a lot. Hope I didn't hurt anybody; seems I've been saving up *grin*. Somehow, I'm betting there are at least a few of you that have the same love/loathe relationship with technology. Or is it just me? I'll have a Sarabear update next time and the upside of technological advances. For now though, I'm sending you a happy smile and a virtual hug. BTW: have you noticed that we are up to 114 Facebook Likes? How exciting *bounce*bounce*bounce*. So feel free to Like us, tweet this, link to it, pin it, Digg it, Stumble it...  
Oh, ACK!

No, no, no, not YOURS yers (MINE yers). *sigh* After much internal debate (read wrestling), discussions with our vets (first one then the other one), debates with DH and a couple of our horse loving friends - not to mention a boatload of research - we have come to the inevitable (and crushing) conclusion: Sara's not going to get any better. Ever. For those of you new to the blog, our Sarabear was diagnosed with Heaves/COPD last year and in spite of everything, has gone from bad to worse to awful. So awful, in fact, that I keep expecting to see someone from the Sheriff's office appear on our doorstep to investigate a starving animal report (although the rest of the horses are pretty much on the tubby side of life). In a way, Sara's troubles seem an awful lot like my own health hiccups; the disease and its symptoms just didn't follow those "classic signs". Added to that were things like heavy smoke from people burning somewhere nearby, crazy winter weather (80 degrees in January? Seriously?) and a stubborn girl who just won't let us help. PHOTO:This is one of my favorite pictures of Sara taken last year. We had just put out a new roll of hay, and the rest of the girls had already gone thundering by. Sarabear has never been one to hurry, although she does look awfully cute prancing her way up the hill.

Heaves symptoms generally appear around age 8, although I have no idea if she exhibited any signs at that time. She came here at age 14, and had a very slight cough, but only once in a great while. Since this area does quite a number on the sinuses (I never had allergy issues until I moved here), and her cough followed the same pattern we didn't really think much of it as it never got worse. I had little knowledge of heaves, because it was generally an issue that effected stabled horses (ours are on 24/7 turnout with shelter available). Besides, surely her owner would have told us if she had a serious condition, right? Betting that one got a laugh or ten out of one of you out there. (insert eye roll here). Ignorance may be bliss, but it sure can cost you a pretty penny. Not to mention drag you heart first through the emotional wringer. Sara is eating more feed per day than all eight other horses combined; and she is still skin and bones. She will not eat more than what we're giving her now, although I've also been giving her treats in between feeding. PHOTO: This was also just last year. Funny how her coat looks so different; it was taken very early in the morning (her little white markings were a funky blue until I corrected the color cast).

The sad thing is, I can't even sit here and say it's been a long road because it really hasn't been long at all. Tough? Oh, most definitely so. Frustrating. Disappointing. Maddening. Infuriating even. And very, very, depressing. The past several months have been a roller coaster ride of high expectations, dead ends and false hope that something (anything) would change. Smack in the middle of it all was Sarabear who, if I am going to be honest, is her own worst enemy. She refuses to eat any of the medicines or herbal supplements no matter how I try to disguise them/hide them (although she has always been okay with eating worm paste in increments hidden in small handfuls of sweet feed). Anything else though? Nope, not having it; she just knocks it right out of my hand and walks off. Certainly she won't let me put anything in her mouth that comes in a tube or syringe. Nosiree Bob; that's not happenin' either, she'll rear straight up. Funny thing is, she's the only one we have that I can't schmooze into eating or even forcibly dose if I have to (not to mention the only one that rears up). How's that for irony? PHOTO: Sara catching a few zzz's by the stalls (I woke her up trying to get a shot of her snoozing; had to settle for a sleepy expression instead ;o)

The short version is this: Sara's appetite is extremely unpredictable, and as a result she is pretty much skin and bones. Sometimes she'll gobble her feed right up, sometimes she'll take a bite and won't eat any more and sometimes she'll dump it all out. Just yesterday she opted to flip her bucket over and waste all the feed instead of eating it (again). If I put the bucket "up" (which is better for her breathing than on the ground), she won't touch it at all. She is furious with me for separating her from her pasture pals, and has now taken to chewing up all of the wood in protest. Up until about 3 weeks ago, we thought she would make another rally. Appetite had stayed fairly consistent and she was starting to put on a little weight. It was probably when I started feeling a little too hopeful that she reversed direction and has been going downhill since. Because horses under stress (and heaves definitely qualifies as stress) can lose up to 50 pounds in one night, you can imagine what she looks like now. Wit's end here. I opted not to post a photo of her current condition for the simple reason that I am afraid someone will misinterpret it. I'm sure many of you will find this quite shocking, *tucks tongue in cheek*, but there are an alarming number of people out there that would take something like that and run with it; without bothering to get the whole story. Even though I can back up everything I've posted about Sara, I just don't want to go through all that. It's hard enough as it is, you know?

Another epic fail (almost) was the Etsy shop, which was supposed to have been closed for a "brief" period while I re-shot photos for my listings. Let me just throw in a ha-ha-HA. *cough* Umm...hmmm. It's been more months that I wish to count since I've even given it a passing thought (and that was a couple of months after I stuck it on vacation mode).  Yikes. It was only after I got a friendly reminder from the Etsy for Animals team about the membership rules (resulting in a holy cow *slap to the forehead* jumpstart) that I realized just how long it had been. Ruh-Roh. Bad Jen. Very bad Jen. *wince* After some frantic scrambling - and a few repentable words - I am happy to say that the shop is now back open. Of course I've only manage to retake about five photos, but I must say I really like the way they turned out. That was probably tacky of me to say out loud, wasn't it? Sorry. Anyhoo, it's another nod to irony the way that went, too, as the proceeds from the shop would have definitely come in handy towards Sara's expenses. *sigh* Oh well, going for better late than never yet again, eh?
So there you have it (or most of it, anyway - I actually skipped some of the Sarabear stuff as I was beginning to feel a tad maudlin). Meh ;o/ Since I hate to end on an icky note, how about something to give you a giggle? (although for me, it was more like a much needed gut-busting laugh). As most of you know, DD is deaf and there is a lot of misinformation out there when it comes to lipreading as a form of communication. Believe it or not, only 30% of the words we use are clearly visible on the lips; the rest is guesswork (and if you don't believe me, stand in front of the mirror and watch your lips as you say "bay, pay, may" ;o) This came through one of my interpreting lists the other day, and I thought I'd share it with you. It's from badlipreading.com and just boggles the mind how well the wrong words fit:
Have a blessed week everyone, and hug those furballs!