A Picture Happy Potty Post (really :o)

Sunday, June 19, 2011

I am a good wife. I am. Sometimes this statement is verified in strange ways, but it is [basically] true. I do not, however, understand the workings of the male mind (wait: is that an oxymoron?) but after more than 20 years of marriage, I can generally decipher the writing on the wall. Remember the *ahem* pot-tay that someone gave us? (here). Well, sadly the tank had a hairline crack and it leaked. It wasn't fixable, and don't you hate it when stuff like that happens? *sigh*. So it was off to the Habitat for Humanity ReStore to [hopefully] find another commode (click here to see if there is one in your area). If you've never shopped there, I can only tell you it is a treasure trove of unbelievable bargains if you are building, remodeling, replacing or decorating (and we all know how much Jen looooves a bargain, right?) Contractors donate leftover items from new construction and homes being professionally remodeled; even better, stores send their shiny new overstock items and/or things that are discontinued. It's most awesome.
My husband, Redneck that he is, pretty much leaves the furniture and fixture decisionmaking up to me (thankfully ;o) Every once in awhile, however, he will deviate from pattern pigheadedly and without warning. It isn't often, but when he does the best I can hope for is some kind of [boggy] middle ground. When I called the ReStore, the woman who answered said they had several commodes there; one was nice enough that had she needed a toilet she would have bought it herself. Since it was going outside, we really just needed non-leaking and functional. On the way to the store, I laughingly told DH that I wouldn't mind finding one in that ugly Harvest Gold because it would be a great match for our "rustic" western theme, and if it got a little dusty from time to time you probably wouldn't even notice. The downside of the store is that it is basically a big stuffy old warehouse, crammed full of all kinds of items (and rummaging around with no air circulating, I can tell you it is HOT in there). Three steps in the door, and everything you have on is stuck to you; three more steps and you are soaked completely through - Yuck! :oP
We no sooner walked through the door, than I saw it: a homely little mustard colored potty sitting right there waiting for me in (you guessed it) Harvest Gold. Laughing, I clasped my hands together in delight and announced it was absolutely perfect. A horrified expression on his face, DH flatly refused to acknowledge my happy find and beaming smile. Instead, his gaze was riveted on "The Throne" which sat glistening seductively in a stream of sunlight a few feet away. This is the point where we completely and totally parted company. The conversation went something like this: 
DH: "This one."
Me (incredulously): "Really honey? That one? It's a bit much for an outhouse style bathroom, don't you think?"
DH: "No, I like it."
Me (so not following the thinking): "But it's white, dear." 
DH: "Yeah."
Me (completely bewildered): "And it has a fancy-schmancy porcelain handle."
DH: "Uh-huh."
Me (now sputtering): "But-but-but we're putting it OUTSIDE. Do you know how fast it will get dirty?"
DH: "You can clean it."
**I should like to interject at this point that I racked up MAJOR marital points for not shooting the man in the middle of the store for that statement alone.**
Me (getting desperate): "Honey, this looks like a $500 toilet; you know how much I appreciate a good deal and all just as you do (it was $15), but are you seriously going to put a pure as the driven snow white la-di-da commode with a shiny white porcelain handle in an outhouse style bathroom on a rustic looking concrete floor that I just stained 'Vaquero Brown'???"
DH (grinning widely): "Yep."
Me (last ditch effort): "Can't we just get the gold one? Please?"
DH: "NO. This one."
Well we bought "The Throne", but I can't say I was anywhere near as thrilled as DH (my sense of the ridiculous being firmly entrenched in the Harvest Gold camp). Happily, inspiration struck on the way back to the house. I had to whine, beg, wheedle and cajole, but I finally got DH to agree to install his monument to the Sunday paper in the family room bathroom and let me go back for the gold one the next day ;o) Since DD's toilet needed to be replaced anyway, I suggested a win-win scenario via a round of musical pot-tays *grin*. The family room toilet would go into DD's bathroom (it matched), "The Throne" would go into the family room bathroom to be loved and admired by all *rolls eyes*, and the gold one would [finally] go into the outhouse. It turned out to be a good thing we did this, as the flange under the commode in the family room had cracked (so water was seeping underneath the flooring - EEW) and it needed to be replaced. Ultimately I guess we both got punished; DH having to do a lot more plumbing work than he'd planned and me having to rip up and replace the vinyl floor in the family room bathroom. Not really feeling the love for those parquet tiles, but they were the least expensive so they won hands down for this unplanned project. Maybe we shoulda stuck Snow White in the outhouse after all, dang it. Oh well.
The return visit generated a much shorter conversation, as DH had to work so DD accompanied me on the return trip to the ReStore in her little pickup truck:
DD: "Mom, that is seriously ugly."
Me: "I know, isn't it great?"
DD (rolling her eyes): "If you say so."
I had to bribe her with a vanilla milkshake, but we got it loaded up and back to the house without incident (she made me drive though, as she refused to be seen hauling a toilet in her truck ;o)
While we're under construction, we have all three commodes communing in our garage (hopefully, we will NOT have anyone come through there for a few days *laugh*).
Oh, and for those of you that noticed the cheesy happy face drawn on the [to be replaced] seat cover of the gold one? I said I was a good wife (I never said I was perfect ;o)
Remember those rusty/dusty chairs I mentioned? Well, I have a long way to go (eek), but inspiration struck shortly after we brought them home. A bunch of steel wool, some paint, a touch of creativity, and lots and LOTS of elbow grease and I think we may just get there eventually. I put a big piece of visqueen down, and moved all the chairs around to the patio which, silly as it sounds, wore me out (of course it might have been that 102 temp that did it - Blech :oP Well it may have made it easier to go from one to the next, but it definitely added to the intimidation factor: That's an awful lot of chairs to do - YIKES!
Actually, they don't look bad at all in the shadows from a distance. It's when you get closer they get a little well, a LOT scary from a sanding standpoint. Oy.
BUT- some serious elbow grease followed by a coating of "folding chair brown" spray paint (otherwise known as "Gloss Khaki" by Rust-oleum) and we can go from scary (R) to salvageable (L). Whaddaya think; not bad, eh?
Throw in a little creative thinking (along with some vinyl and my bestest little buddy Cricut) and voila! You've come a long way, baby (boo-yeah! ;o)
Well, that's three down and ten to go *head thumps on desk*. Maybe I'll just wait until tomorrow to do some more; I'm a little bit tuckered. Thanks for reading it all ('cause it sure was a LOT this time) and have a truly blessed week everyone!


  1. Do any of us understand the working of the male mind? I know I sure don't. At least he can't complain about the extra plumbing since it was his idea to get the fancy model :)
    I was looking at the picture of the 3 commodes and wondering why there was a big smile on the
    I LOVE LOVE LOVE what you did with the chairs. The look awesome

  2. Ann: I kind of figured that if I ever get to the point that I actually DO understand the male mind, I'm probably in really big trouble *grin*.
    Glad you liked the chairs; I was pretty pleased with them too :o)

  3. Wow, I think we need to figure out how to siphon a leetle bit of your energy, 'cause I think if we did, we could power the planet. I got tired just reading about all the work you did! Great job though, especially with the chairs, they look really good!
    And oh Lordy, that is one UGLY (Fugly actually) toilet. Like, wow.

  4. Meghann: Trust me when I say I am FAKING it *laugh*. I have been taking little power naps in between things just to keep from going face first in the dirt. Half the time I have no idea how I got to bed the night before either; nodding off on the sofa like grandma with "I gotta go to bed" being my last semi-coherent thought before... ZZZZZZZZ.
    Oh my poor little pot-tay; I suppose we are rather aesthetically challenged aren't we? ;o)

  5. Great job on the chairs! They look brand new and custom.

    Funny story with the commode. The smiley face on the gold one is priceless, glad it found a good home.

    And about the male mind...they take their potty time very seriously.

  6. GreyHorse: Thank you so much; I'm pretty much hoping to live though the rest of them at this point *laugh*. It's one of those I know it will all have been worth it when it's over type things, you know?
    Glad it gave you a giggle, and you are right (they definitely do ;o)

  7. Those chairs are beautiful. I am shocked that they repainted so well. Better than new.

    Thank you for joining my blog! I have always liked your icon drawing. :)

  8. Val: Isn't that wild? It was an experiment that turned out WAY better than expected (and boo-yeah for that, right? ;o)
    Glad you like Shadow's avatar; I'll have to post the photo I used for it one of these days. It captured that slightly vacuous and confused expression of his pretty well *laugh*.

  9. LOL ~ men are funny aren't they? But what would we do without them? ;) Excellent job on those chairs ~ you crafty girl you!!!

    Have a happy weekend Jen!
    xo Catherine

  10. I just wanted to thank you for stopping by my birthday party on my blog!

    BTW, I think it would less complicated for you humans if you learned how to use litter boxes. But then, I look at all the different kinds of them on the market and... maybe not.

  11. Sparkle: You are most welcome, and I hope it was a happy one.
    As to the other? I don't think I'm even gonna go there - it scares me *laugh* ;o)

Your comments really brighten my day!

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