How Come I Do Me Like I Do-Do-Do?

Welllll... it looks like we can chalk another one up in the "What in the world were you thinking Jennifer?" column: otherwise entitled, "Self-Inflicted Stupidity in Spades" (which, as an acronym could be construed as "Si-Si's" - yes-yes's in Spanish - and accurately represents the sum total of an ongoing personal predicament). Okay, that was entirely too much digression [even for me]. Nice rabbit hole there, Jen. *UGH* I managed (yet again) to bite off WAY more than I could possibly chew. Do you do that? I do. On a regular idiot-friendly basis, I might add. I have a really, really rough time with the "N" word. As in NO. I have, quite literally, sat in meetings and bit my lip hard enough to hurt to keep myself from volunteering for something when I knew good and well it would be far too much and I'd wind up completely overwhelmed and stressed out. Unfortunately, an "Oh, I can do that" frequently pops out in spite of my best efforts to hold it in. Why? Not a clue. Boneheaded? Maybe. Glutton for punishment? Definitely. Most of the time, though, it happens simply because I want to help. The fact that I know that you can't possibly help everyone all of the time does not seem to stop me from trying. Sometimes, however, it's just a big fat brain blip (you know, the kind that comes with the triple threat of repercussions: STRESS, MORE STRESS and TOTAL MELTDOWN). A few weeks ago, my art teacher asked me if I wanted to go in with her on a booth for the local Art/Craft Show the following weekend. Obviously, I was in idiot mode at the time, because I responded with an enthusiastic "Oh, I'd love to!". Two days later, I found myself lamenting this decision, but was still delusional enough to think I could pull it off without too much trouble. Well ha. Ha, HA, HA. Delusional indeed.

By the following week, I was ready to pull my hair out (and I might have, too, except that it is finally starting to thicken again - plus, once the hair has left my head it kinda freaks me out to clean it up, because Ick.) "Why? Why do you DO this to yourself?!?" was my perpetual mantra. What is WRONG with you? Are you mental? Clearly, the answer was [is] a resounding Yes. I did indeed make it to the art show (in frazzled stressed-out-mess mode, but I got there!) and I have to say that it was SO not worth it. *rolling eyes* We're talking total bust. I have no idea where they advertised, but it was like a ghost town; the only thing missing were the tumbleweeds (not to worry though, I found one just for you). I can't even say I enjoyed myself, since I spent the better part of a day sitting there thinking of all the things I could have gotten done had I just stayed HOME. The only positive thing I can think to say is that I did sell two candles to my art teacher (she said they were Christmas presents for a couple of someones) so at least my portion of the booth rental was covered. I'm good with that, I guess. I mean it'd be even worse had I wound up paying to get so completely stressed-out, right? My art teacher did make me promise that I would slap her [really hard] should she ever ask me to do such a thing again in the future  (so maybe it wasn't just me then, eh? ;o)

On the upside, my friend Lori has gallantly volunteered to run interference for me in the future as my official Nay-Sayer. (I am to direct any and all requests for my assistance through her). Why, you might ask? Because I completely blew my shining moment, that's why. After a lengthy discussion (otherwise entitled, "See Jen Vent") with Lori and another friend Cathy after church - both of whom agreed that I had a big problem telling people "No" - they gave me a marvelously encouraging pep talk and pointed out that I was already overloaded by default (true). Then they had me practice saying, "I'm sorry, but I just can't." I don't know why it's such an issue for me, but it's HUGE. The biggest thing that bothers me about it? I wind up saying "No" to the people I don't want to say no to (like friends and family), or I miss my weekly blog post because I've already said yes ten too many times. So why on earth do I keep doing it? I sure wish I knew, because I absolutely infuriate myself sometimes. ARRGH! The topic turned to other things and it was quite awhile later that Lori said, "Oh, I meant to ask you; do you think you could fix a meal for the W--- family next week?" Taking a deep breath and thinking about the coming week's chaotic schedule, I closed my eyes and said.... "When?" Of course both of them yelled "NO! NO! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY NO!!" at me simultaneously. Apparently that was a test, which I failed. Dismally. *facepalm*
What's the definition of insanity again? Oh yes: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Oh dear.

And... for those of you who like doodle and draw, I started a [sketchbook] joy journal the other week. Faith based, and full of whatever it is that I feel like adding to it. Initially I just wanted to practice lettering, largely because it's an übercool skill to have. I figured I may as well find a fun way to do it, hence the journal. Since it's now October and we're all "in the pink" (so to speak), I thought I'd share this page with you. It's not finished - obviously - nor is it a masterpiece, but the journal has been kind of a (hit and miss) therapeutic thing for me in the evenings.
I sure do enjoy doing it ;o)
[Pitiful photo, compliments of the crummy camera on my cell phone. Meh. :oP

Speaking of artistic endeavors, somebody special (actually two somebodies, since the taller one included a note ;o) sent me a happy-happy-happy moment. Isn't it awesome? Look:

Soooo putting them BOTH in my joy box. Thanks so much for reading this far, and have a blessed week!