Merry? Ha. In the scary month of May...

Depending on your profession, this month may (ha, couldn't resist) or may not be a really hectic one. To be honest, the older I get the crazier all the months seem to become; do yours? May is when educational employees spend the majority of their time peeling children off the ceiling and wearing out their knees over same (lotta prayer going on there ;o) For those of you who think it "must be nice" to have your summers off, I will say that I can remember having that very same covetous thought. Prior to the diagnosis of DD's hearing loss and my career change, I was a *cough* civilian. I can remember thinking how very lucky teachers were to have all that wonderful time off. Well ahahaha, now I get it (boy do I).  People in the educational field often question their own sanity (present company included) at least twelve times a day. Look where I was with my student this week [photo inset]. Now picture a gymnasium full of fifth graders all learning to shoot a bow and arrow. Yep, gotta be a real nut case to do this job. Summer breaks. Are you kidding? We need all that off time to fit in all those therapy sessions with our shrinks...

Not only is this the last month of school, but it is also time for my very last oncology appointment (I hope). This July, I will be five years out from my cancer. I think that the first and the last appointments have to be the scariest. The first simply because you cannot get your brain around the fact that YOU actually have cancer. The excellent health you thought you had has poofed and you find yourself suddenly facing multiple surgeries, chemotherapy and all kinds of other horrible and heinous things that you must do if you want to live for any length of time. Wondering why I'd worry about the last? Because I am almost there; so close to the big anniversary it's scary. There's also the happy thought that since I was "young" (40), the chances of a recurrence are much higher than if I had been 60 or 70. Rather like giving up your security blanket, I guess (although I'm sure Shadow would let me borrow his ;o)

The further out you get from the initial diagnosis without a recurrence [and the first five years are the diciest] the better your long-term chances of survival. That is provided something else doesn't get you first. The oft-touted percentage of survivors in the high 90s sounds awesome, except that it's only good for five years AND only counts those patients whose death was direct result of their cancer. In other words, if you died during reconstructive surgery, got pneumonia or had a heart attack because of the damage to your system from the chemo, or died at five years and one week, it doesn't count (can you say majorly manipulated statistics?? *rolls eyes*).  I can't help but remember that Elizabeth Edwards [whose husband is a PUTZ] was originally diagnosed with her cancer in 2004 which returned with a vengeance in 2009 just shy of that five year anniversary. I'm praying hard that God will not ask me to walk that particular path again but His will not mine, right? Between the residual fallout from the medications like arthritis, a defective Vegas nerve (digestion), heart blips, etc. and the ongoing aftermath from the muscle disease, plus Fibromyalgia and Raynauds Phenomenon, I'd really like to think I have the medical bases pretty well covered, don't you think? Yeesh ;o)

Things aren't always what they seem, as I'm sure you already know. With that in mind, [and a bit of irony I found funny] I just had to add this little clip I shot of the Girls while we were working on the patio roof. There's nothing so peaceful as a herd of horses grazing on a nice sunny day. A gentle breeze upon the air, tails swishing lazily to and fro...

Appearances Can Be Deceiving from Jen on Vimeo.

Temperatures included, we are definitely getting warmer around here. The almost patio still gets a cheesy grin each time I walk out the door (last post). It will be curing for the next couple of weeks before we can give it a nice rustic finish (and I'm SO ready *bounce*bounce*bounce*)

Before I forget, thanks again to Ann of Anns Snap Edit Scrap, not only for accepting the request to be Epic Farms' very own Digital Diva (didn't know it came with a title, did you girl? *grin*), but also for her help with our fundraiser and mentioning us today on her beautimous blog. We would also like to say thank you to Duke for letting us borrow his mom's creative genius from time to time, so -

Many, many thanks to you both!!

Well, I'm sure that's more than enough of me for another week. Hope yours is wonderfully blessed (even though sometimes those blessings come disguised as character building lessons ;o) Take care!